Funny old week

Despite the heading, this week hasn't been much fun at all, has it?

Ogrek's job is making him ill and there's something misfiring in the brain that isn't doing you any good. Why don't you go see the doctor about it? He did, which is why he's doing something about it all, getting a new job and not getting pushed around by the old one. OCD is no joking matter. Fretting about rubbish and writing and re-writing lists is not normal.

Something is very, very wrong.

In Memoriam

"How wonderful Dungeons & Dragons was actually invented by a guy named Gygax!" ~ Mitch Benn, entertainer on BBC4's The Now Show.

Yep. How wonderful indeed. It's a bloody good name.

He died aged 69 (Dude!) on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. What he left to the world was many other worlds for a lot of people to explore. Some of those people developed strong friendships from those explorations. Others got married. I did both, and I owe it to Mr. Gary Gygax, because if I hadn't decided to go to a D&D game one cold, wet Sunday in 1992 I wouldn't have met Ogrek about 3 months later ~ although I came close; he still remembers the green-and-red haired punk in the ABC Cinema during a Star Trek 1 to 6 Marathon a couple of years earlier.

I'm not the only one. Tarol Hunt (who does Goblins) met his soulmate at a game, as did many, many others. Not bad for a game considered to be the domain of 'Geeks' who didn't have a hope of 'getting laid'.

He's homaged in Dexter's Laboratory and Futurama, two of my favourite cartoons. The fact that he uses a D6 and a D10 in an episode in the latter because there were no D20s developed until a little while after the game system still brings a smile and makes for interesting D&D trivia down the pub.

The Griffin Gamers honoured him with an empty chair placed at the gaming table.

Goodbye Gary. Don't forget your dice.

~Chaszmyr

The Other Quote Of The Week

"You WRING OUT your hair?!" ~ Ogrek

The hair in question is over two foot long, takes 15 minutes on average to brush and absorbs water like a sponge.

Quote Of The Week

"Do not step into that room! It makes your head go all fuckey!" ~ Kalil the Tiefling.

The room in question had a chaotic Idol in it that convinced him that breathing fire on the rest of the D&D party was a good idea; understandably, they disagreed strongly.

Phrase Of The Day

Swedish Imperialism ~ the description given by a Danish sociologist on the radio today about the naming conventions behind IKEA products.

His main point was that quality products like their range of beds had Swedish or Finnish place names, whereas the miscellany such as bowls, draught excluders and wastepaper baskets had Danish ones.

IKEA's response was that it was a coincidence.

On a similar note, considering the most recent adverts, one wonders if there will be a Doink Ikeasson in CP this year.

Mentos of the World

Chlorophylle (also known as Spearmint) from Holland,

Green Apple from Germany,

Pink Grapefruit and Red Orange with Vitamin C from Switzerland,

Licorice from Italy,

Mango-Orange from France

and Watermelon from Spain.

In the UK and everywhere else, there's also Strawberry, Wild Berry, Mint and Fruit, plus minty chewing gums with green tea.

From Japan there was Melon and Soda flavour.

Most people buy ethnic tat, but you buy Mentos? Well why not?

Aftermath

France
Belgium
Holland
Germany
Austria
Leichtenstein
Switzerland
Italy
Monaco
Andorra
France again
Spain
and across the Bay of Biscay...

In 9 Days.

In a battered and now notorious red Vauxhall Astra.

This has to be the most insane thing you have agreed to do.

Your sanity is shot, you managed to lose your patience a few times and now possess a desire to stay in England for a very long time indeed. But on the plus side you saw a lot of interesting places, collected seven different flavours of Mentos and have now visited roughly 10% of the Earth's countries and principalities.

What's next - the Moon?

The Top Gear Tour

Clothing
Toiletries
Sleeping Bags
Blankets
Emergency Car and Medical Kit
Kettle
Food
Drink
Passports
Paperwork
Tickets
Camera
Drawing Pad
Pens
And a ton of other stuff packed
Alarm set for 1am GMT

...Oh my God we're going to Europe O.o

~ Chaszmyr

32 Today

Or 100,000 in Binary.

Or by the Power of 2, I'm five. Which sounds a bit more preferable to being a six-figure age.

Enjoyed a meal at Yo-Ji Sushi, ate a lot of fish and rice and drank a bit of cider too. Dinner even came with a magic act on the part of the chef, who decided to do some party tricks. Spent a chunk of dinner, bizarrely enough, discussing Drow dietary requirements and how to overcome the lack of Vitamin C in the Underdark. Got a lovely present from my sister, made (I'm guessing) by Mother; a home-made drawing pad that's definitely going to see some use in CP this year. Tonight we're gaming and there's going to be a cake and snacks.

The best thing anyone can have on their birthday is a good bunch of friends to share it with.

~ Chaszmyr

Well, Fuck!

My sister was 10 when she was picked by her class in school to read a news article out in an Assembly ~ the theme was Current Events, and she was asked to read about the elections in Pakistan in 1988.

She spent ages learning how to pronounce the name Benazir. In her first efforts it came out as 'Ben-a-jeer' but with practice, perseverence and encouragement from Mother she did it. I felt about 10 foot tall when she read out her news item loud, proud and clear.

I had little recollection of the significance of the election itself, I had very little perception of or interest in world-changing events then; what I've learned since has only been recently. The only time that India and Pakistan had been in my thoughts in nearly 20 years had been when both countries had performed nuclear tests in the late nineties, and I had genuinely feared for the world upon hearing the news. I remember coming home depressed and getting drunk that night.

Well she's dead now. Benazir Bhutto, politician, prime minister, mother and tie-er of my 10-year-old sister's tongue back in the day has been assassinated. By a suicide bomber. I know very little about her beyond this little bit of nostalgic whimsey but the news has still pissed me off.

Here's the links, courtesy of the BBC;

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/7161590.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/2228796.stm

~ Chaszmyr

Quote Of Christmas

Schedule;

The Queen's Speech ~ 3pm GMT

Christmas Lunch ~ 3:10pm GMT

The Doctor Who Christmas Special ~ about 6:50pm GMT

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"So Lunch is cunningly sandwiched between the Queen and Doctor Who." ~ Ogrek

"That's a mental image I could have done without..." ~ Chaszmyr

Merry Christmas to all

And to all a good night.

With any luck, normal service will return to www.columbusthecat.co.uk when Chaszmyr gets off their arse and draws some more comics. The spouse has been throwing creative ideas left, right and centre and there's a new art desk about to be ordered. In addition to that HEX has been upgraded with a new power supply and NeverWinter Nights has been hidden by Gizmo.

Merry Christmas, Happy Midwinter Solstice and have a damn good New Year. Mine will involve the results of the consumption of Gaymers' Cider.

Words Of Wisdom

Never watch CSI: Miami whilst stoned.

Oh Wonderful

There is a history of Acid Reflux and related conditions on your mother's side of the family.

Nice of your sister to tell you about it 3 years after you originally told her you'd got a Hiatus Hernia.

Glad you fled the Underdark, Drizzt?

In Memory Of Meep The Kobold - A Quote Of The Week Special

The Griffin Gamers have a new player, a pretty good roleplayer who brought to the game the wacky, chaotic Meep the Kobold, a draconic sorceror with wings. He lasted two weeks but will be fondly remembered by all and has firmly established his player into the group. I look forward to seeing what he plays next week.

So in memory of Meep, here are some of his best quotes and the responses to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I've got a Chaos Elemental minion in my head!" ~ Meep

"I've got one too, I take Prozac for it." ~ A rather out-of-character response from Chaszmyr

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Rolls D20 for Spot skill* "1!" ~ Meep

"It's a good thing the dragon wasn't flying up there; 'Where is it? Where is-' *GLOMP*" ~ Ogrek, the GM

(Muffled) "Help guys, I've been glomped by a dragon!" ~ Chaszmyr

"He's become a Mini Fillet Burger." ~ Durin The Monk

"Ah, In-Flight Meal." ~ Kalil The Tiefling

"No, I'm actually edible!" ~ Meep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In response to an Ent assisting Durin in combatting a dragon by throwing him at it on request;

"What damage does a thrown dwarf do?" ~ Lord Asriel

Dysmotility

Dysmotility is when the muscles of the gullet are uncoordinated and do not function properly.

It's also what you have, in addition to the Hiatus Hernia. The bizarre Borg Implant detected no anomalies in the stomach but the Manometry tests spoke volumes to two very puzzled and concerned nurses.

Your comment about it is that as usual, out of the seven sacred Chakra points in your body, four of them are "fucked".

Let's see what the doctor says on Wednesday.

And no, you're not The Fat Bird. I agree with the spouse.

Oh great, she's a self harmer alright

I've been down in the dumps the past week. Largely feeling unmotivated, resigned and miserable, although being on Prozac has taken the edge off of the emotional strain; I just end up coming across as a combination of neutral, bored and tired.

This has been bothering me because a week ago I was very chirpy.

It's just occurred to me now that a piercing in my left ear and a tattoo on my arm have healed recently and are no longer stinging like hell, which is about when the Glums started.

Great. I've been high on pain endorphins and this is a comedown. I don't know which of the two facts is more depressing.

Columbus is going to be pissed off.

~Chaszmyr

Planet Karen

http://planetkaren.girl-wonder.org/

My husband discovered this last sunday; I responded by confirming the artist was a resident of Bristol, I recognised the Clifton Suspension Bridge from one of the earlier strips. I love this strip, and considering we occasionally go to the same cinema and comic shop as her I hope we get to meet her someday.

But for now, the least I can do is share her work with you. Click on the link and enjoy.

~ Chaszmyr

Ouote Of The Week

"Dude! Bless my piss so I can piss on them!" has got to be the strangest suggestion for dealing with zombies I've ever heard.

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. PREPARE TO BE ASSIMILATED.

Yeek, so that's what a PH test looks like...